Feelings

For the first time in AJ’s life I have missed his birthday.

This has never happened before. In 17 years, I have never missed his birthday. Never.

I am struggling with this. I am angry and frustrated.

AJ is spending the weekend with my mom because I don’t want him to be alone on his birthday. His friends never got back to him about coming up for a small party.  I know that scheduling
conflicts happen, but I don’t get any time with him at all. I feel like I am being a neglectful mother. I know that I am not. He probably would have ignored me anyway but its the principle. I have been so busy this summer, I barely get any time with any of my family.

This is the straw that breaks the camels back.

Instead of getting my son a cake, I made him pancakes with trick candles. It was fun waking him up early, because I needed to leave early and watch him try to blow the candles out when he was still mostly asleep. That was amusing. But it isn’t a substitute for special birthday fun. AJ says he doesn’t mind. He seems to be taking it better than I am. But this is one of the last birthdays I get with him and I missed it!

Birthdays, Christmas and Thanksgiving are the most important days to me. I love making a big deal out of the people I love and I couldn’t do it this year. I don’t like that.

 

SURPRISE!!

AJ never ceases to amaze me. Even though it is summer , he has taken it very seriously.  Instead of choosing “easy” classes, he chose latin. Last school year he failed Spanish. He and his teacher had differences of opinion as to how he learns. So when I learned that he was taking latin this summer I was pleased. He wants to be an animal biologist and I think Latin will help him in school later. He doesn’t really talk about his summer program,  except about how great the food is. I discovered the latin when he left his work out on my chair. He seems to have picked up some of the basics pretty well.  Last night, while I was doing homework, he told me what something meant.  What makes that great is that he determined its meaning by knowing  some of the latin components.

So, now that he’s given me a surprise.  Really what more could a mother ask for than to have a child who makes good choices … most of the time. I think he deserves a really great birthday.  But what to get him? I never realized how hard teenagers were to please before. He’s going to 15 in just two weeks.  How do you celebrate eith teens? Any ideas? All he wants is an iPhone,  which he’s not getting until he can pay for the data. Which leaves me with very little.